So I realized I haven't blogged since October 27th and I pray that you all could forgive me. A lot of things have happened since then. I think lately, God has been bringing up stuff from my past so that I can walk out in forgiveness towards people or release the hurt and pain from my past to God so that He can come in and bring true healing and freedom. I have been going through a weird past two weeks. I've noticed God has answered my prayer for discernment and I've become sensitive to atmospheres of public areas or to people who are hurting, I sometimes feel their pain. It's really weird but it's something I've been asking for so that I could love people and have compassion on them. I'm also excited to see what God has been up to. I'm so happy to say that I can hear God speak to me and it's amazing. I've also come to realize how funny God is and how He wants me to be joyful and happy always because it makes Him happy that I'm happy and then we're all happy! I love it!
Right now, I'm currently staying with my roommate in Etna, California for Thanksgiving break. I love it here so much because they have so many musical instruments, their house is amazingly large and awesome, and just the fact that it's a Christian family and that family shows love towards me is awesome! God has definitely been blessing me with musical skills. I remember sitting at a keyboard at Honor Academy just staring at it and crying. I would pray "God please teach me how to play piano since I can't find anyone to teach me." I would sit there and hit random keys but never played a song or anything. And then I get to BSSD and it seems God has opened a door to understanding the piano and there's so much musical talent around me and the beautiful thing is, everyone is willing to help me learn piano. I've learned many songs now and have made up a few of my own. It's not perfection, but I'm just so happy that I can play something now....even if it is only a little thing! I've also come to realize that God wants my dreams to come true. I have a dream to learn how to play piano, harp, violin, flute, guitar, and more and throughout my lifetime, God's going to provide ways for me to learn. Also, to learn other languages.
So over the time that I've been at BSSD, I've learned that God speaks to you in many ways. He will speak to you through nature, through other people, through art, through a small voice, through dreams, through visions, and much more. For me, God's been really showing me that my daydreams are actually from Him. I find myself daydreaming often about the future and what I will do and the strange thing is, someone will come up and prophecy over me and that word will confirm that daydream I had. It's like God wants my daydreams to be real just like I do! For instance, I was daydreaming one time that I was helping people on the streets (if you know me, I do not have the guts for outreach or for talking to people. I have a strong fear of man which God is breaking!!). In my little daydream, I pictured me performing a miracle or giving money to a homeless person or whatever and the next day, a speaker came to our school and he prophecied over a few of us (including me). What he said to me was that outreach is going to be the most exciting thing in the world to me and that the enemy has me really afraid of it and people right now. Isn't that awesome?!?! God tends to confirm a lot of my daydreams so I'm starting to think they are from Him (of course they are).
I'm also starting to get a general idea of what my future's going to look like and how exciting it's going to be (compared to how dreadful my future looked when I was in Honor Academy. I had a lot of fear there and in Colorado as well). I realize I still have a lot of fear but I trust that God is ripping them out and allowing me to excel beyond them! I wish you all could know how amazingly awesome God is. He DOES want us happy, HE DOES want us to be without fear, HE DOES want us to succeed and prosper in life. Most Christians tend to think that it's a sin to succeed or it's ok to be afraid, or God is angry at them always. NEWSFLASH: GOD IS IN A GOOD MOOD! Our God is a good God and if you ask Him to prove that statement to you, He will! And His love moves worlds and universes to reach you. Did you know that God's GOOD thoughts for you outnumber the sands on every seashore in this world? Think about it......God's thoughts concerning you outnumber all the sand in the world. That's so mindboggling!!! (That's from Psalm 139 by the way!). Think about this one: Zephaniah 3:17: "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." God takes great delight in you.....so much that it causes Him to sing over you! Have you ever loved someone so much that you just wanted to burst forth in song? Ok maybe not you but that's true for me! I love my God in the fact that He is all about RELATIONSHIP, not religion!
Ok so there I go on again preaching. But these and more have been new revelations to me about God's love for me. I hope you will realize that the love He has for me is the same love He has for you. No matter what your circumstances are, what you been through, the worst crime you've committed, God still loves you! He truly does!
So I hope that through this, God has given you a revelation of His love. If not, I'm praying for one for all the people that are reading this! It's life transforming! Thanks for reading this and I will try to post a new blog at least once a week! Until we meet again, God bless!
*Jess*
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Called to Intercede
So on Sunday a lady told me that I'm an intercessor and I found out today what that means. But before that, I'll just say what's happened this past week. Most of the students were sick with the cold, flu, and swine flu so most of the school days last week were cancelled. But then we got to have school by Kris Valloton on Friday. That was amazing. He had so much to speak and there was so much to take in. I feel so blessed at the privilege I had to have him speak into my life! It was so good! Then later that day, we got to hear him again at a church and the message was amazing again. He revealed an interesting fact to me, what you envision, you become. Meaning that if I have a fear of becoming just like "so and so" who really hurt me or I tell myself that I won't become that, if I focus on that, I do end up becoming that. For instance, like child molesters were once molested as children themselves (in most cases). Or like how a son is emotionally abused by his father and he vows never to be like his dad but then since he focuses on that "fear" or "vow" of not becoming like his dad, he becomes like his dad later on because he "idolized" the fear/vow thingy and became something he swore he wasn't going to become. So we need to stop focusing on our fears. This rings true for me. I remember at Honor Academy I kept praying to God that I wouldn't lose sight of Him and that I wouldn't fall away and I had that fear. And since I held on to that fear and focused on it instead of God, I lost sight of God and rebelled against Him for a year (the time I was in Colorado). Let go of your fears. Give them to God and then forget about them because fear hinders our faith. I've also been reading "When Heaven Invades Earth" by Bill Johnson (which I suggest you should all read as well). He says in there how our unbelief and doubt "pushes" the supernatural away. If we have doubt that God can't heal someone, then He probably won't. It takes faith to access the Kingdom of God and to call it down for miracles. If you have any unbelief or doubt, get rid of it and ask God for more faith! Also another thing that Kris mentioned: If you believe you are a sinner, you will remain a sinner. But if you believe that you have been redeemed, then you are redeemed. Also, if you put a pauper in a palace, he'll make a prison. If you put a prince in a prison, he'll make it a palace. Which will you be (as a Christian)?
So moving on to today. We had worship and it was a little difficult for me for some odd reason. I must have been tired (we have worship everyday to start out the school day at 10:15-11:15am). After that I just soaked up everything that the teachers had to say. It was after school that things started to get interesting. One of the guys in my class, Nathan, invited anyone to have prophetic prayer after school for a half hour. It was just three of us sadly. What we did was for the first 5 minutes, we invited the Holy Spirit to speak to us about His heart and what He wants us to pray for. After entering into His Presence, we began to pray passionately for all kinds of things. Most of the things were focused on the students in my class and also to the surrounding area (for revival). I had so many passionate, emotional things spoken through me and I had no idea where this came from. I remember getting passionate towards: Deep revelation, unity/community, against the spirit of suicide (it's big in this area), speaking destiny into people, speaking life, and declaring all kinds of other things. It was so awesome to see how God used me to be a warrior (and boy did I feel like one!). Nathan prayed over me in the end and said that I'm powerful. He also imparted to me all that was imparted to him (which is exactly what I wanted and God answered my prayer! The more I receive, the better! I can't get enough of the things of God!). God has been drastically accelerating more of the prophetic in me and it's so awesome! I love God! He is so good and His love for me overwhelms me more and more every day! I love growing closer and closer to the ultimate Lover!
Random notes: I learned how to french braid my hair and practiced it in class for the first time today and it worked! Yay for French braiding your hair! Also, I've had so many people pour into me and my piano playing. I'm finally learning how to read sheet music and am growing fast in musical talent (which makes me very happy-most of you remember that I always wanted to learn how to play piano and that dream is finally being realized now! Yay!). I got to hang out at the guys' house for a while as I waited for a ride (long story) after school and got to play Halo 3. That made my day for sure! I love my classmates! They are all so flipping awesome!
I cannot express how grateful I am to God for allowing me to go on this journey, to be in California, for the amazing students and teachers He's placed in my life, and for the Holy Spirit. I long to just go deeper and deeper into His heart everyday! That's my goal for the rest of my life! Ha ha!
So moving on to today. We had worship and it was a little difficult for me for some odd reason. I must have been tired (we have worship everyday to start out the school day at 10:15-11:15am). After that I just soaked up everything that the teachers had to say. It was after school that things started to get interesting. One of the guys in my class, Nathan, invited anyone to have prophetic prayer after school for a half hour. It was just three of us sadly. What we did was for the first 5 minutes, we invited the Holy Spirit to speak to us about His heart and what He wants us to pray for. After entering into His Presence, we began to pray passionately for all kinds of things. Most of the things were focused on the students in my class and also to the surrounding area (for revival). I had so many passionate, emotional things spoken through me and I had no idea where this came from. I remember getting passionate towards: Deep revelation, unity/community, against the spirit of suicide (it's big in this area), speaking destiny into people, speaking life, and declaring all kinds of other things. It was so awesome to see how God used me to be a warrior (and boy did I feel like one!). Nathan prayed over me in the end and said that I'm powerful. He also imparted to me all that was imparted to him (which is exactly what I wanted and God answered my prayer! The more I receive, the better! I can't get enough of the things of God!). God has been drastically accelerating more of the prophetic in me and it's so awesome! I love God! He is so good and His love for me overwhelms me more and more every day! I love growing closer and closer to the ultimate Lover!
Random notes: I learned how to french braid my hair and practiced it in class for the first time today and it worked! Yay for French braiding your hair! Also, I've had so many people pour into me and my piano playing. I'm finally learning how to read sheet music and am growing fast in musical talent (which makes me very happy-most of you remember that I always wanted to learn how to play piano and that dream is finally being realized now! Yay!). I got to hang out at the guys' house for a while as I waited for a ride (long story) after school and got to play Halo 3. That made my day for sure! I love my classmates! They are all so flipping awesome!
I cannot express how grateful I am to God for allowing me to go on this journey, to be in California, for the amazing students and teachers He's placed in my life, and for the Holy Spirit. I long to just go deeper and deeper into His heart everyday! That's my goal for the rest of my life! Ha ha!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Adventure Begins!
So this is my first blog. It's a little delayed but I hope to catch you all up on what's been going on. I'm in Fortuna, California and life is so wonderful here! I feel so blessed at the fact that I have not seen snow yet compared to my home. I'm sure that I'll be missing the snow here pretty soon but we'll see how that goes. Bethel School of Supernatural Discipleship has been so amazing to me. We recently had Wesley Campbell, Karen Sprenger, and Kris Valloton come to our school and teach on some amazing stuff that gave me huge revelation. Ever since I've been here, I've had so much revelation into the heart and love of God. Did you know that God is funny? Did you know that He loves you deeply? Did you know that He longs to have a relationship with you that goes beyond your wildest dreams? Did you know He wants to bless you like crazy and give you the desires of your heart? Did you know you can go visit Heaven whenever you want? Did you know that we can access the kingdom and the supernatural at hand and the fact that it's right here and not far away? Did you know that God is calling us to do the impossible (with help from Him of course!)? I've come to realize these things and so much more.
It has been said several times over this small group of students (about 25-30 people) that we are in an accelerated time period. Meaning, something that took someone years to learn will only take us a few months to learn. I can definitely agree with this in the fact that God is doing that to me now. He's shown me so many things and has given me courage to do the things He's calling me to do. I am called to lay hands on the sick and heal them. I am called to preach the good news and have lives transformed by it. I am called to cast out demons and have authority over them. We as Christians hear the "Great Commission" but do we really get it? Jesus has given us authority! We need to rely on that authority to see this world changed!
Besides learning so much everyday, I've come to believe that I am His daughter and His princess and that I don't have to earn His love....He gives it freely! I feel so blessed in knowing that the Creator of the Universe longs to call me His daughter and yearns to hear from me that He's my Father. It's so awesome to be a child of God in this time! God is in a Good Mood guys!!! Oh man I could go on and on with what God is doing but there's soooo much! It seems the favorite motto for all speakers and churches down here is "On Earth as it is in Heaven." It's now my favorite quote (from the Bible) as well!
So I know I'm being pretty sporadic with my thoughts at the moment but there's so much I need to tell and it seems like not enough space in this little blog. I got to pray over people tonight at a church service. You see, God has been really opening up the Prophetic in me (did you know that if you have a desire for the prophetic, just ask and God will open that up to you?!?). I'm able to speak encouragement into lives of my fellow students and pretty soon, into strangers and "pre-Christians."
So another thing I forgot to mention is the fact that God is definitely preparing Humboldt County for a massive invasion of Him! He's coming and He's bringing a humongous revival to this area that's going to spread like fire around the world. I can honestly say that I do feel revival coming (very strongly about it too). It's coming and God's waiting for the perfect moment to burst forth into the world from here. It's been spoken over all of us (the students) that we are going to be catalysts to this movement and we are going to be the revivalists!!! That's some pretty deep stuff because when we all first came here, we thought this was a mistake and that we were the "rejects" from Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (since most of us applied there first and were "suggested" to here.....that was totally God by the way). It's also been said that Redding, California can't have it's breakthrough until the breakthrough has happened here, on the coast! It's crazy to think that because Redding is pretty passionate and crazy for God right now and they are having some amazing testimonies coming from that place, but they can't have their complete breakthrough till we have ours! Wow! It's crazy how God really does "equip the called" and not the other way around!
So anyway, about tonight, we had a service speaking on healing and then some students got to go up front and pray over other people and anoint them with oils. I must admit that I was scared! I didn't prophecy over anyone and I don't think healing came through for me and the people I prayed over (unless if they are happening now) but it was still a stretching point for me. God has called me to be a leader and not a follower and that means I could be leading thousands or just one person. Either way, I'm still a leader and I'm starting to accept that now.
I think this is all I'm going to write for now. I hope to post some words I had spoken over me, up soon! I'll try my best to keep up with the happenings of Fortuna, California as much as I can! Until next time, may God bless you in all that you do! Because He loves you, ya know?
*Jess*
It has been said several times over this small group of students (about 25-30 people) that we are in an accelerated time period. Meaning, something that took someone years to learn will only take us a few months to learn. I can definitely agree with this in the fact that God is doing that to me now. He's shown me so many things and has given me courage to do the things He's calling me to do. I am called to lay hands on the sick and heal them. I am called to preach the good news and have lives transformed by it. I am called to cast out demons and have authority over them. We as Christians hear the "Great Commission" but do we really get it? Jesus has given us authority! We need to rely on that authority to see this world changed!
Besides learning so much everyday, I've come to believe that I am His daughter and His princess and that I don't have to earn His love....He gives it freely! I feel so blessed in knowing that the Creator of the Universe longs to call me His daughter and yearns to hear from me that He's my Father. It's so awesome to be a child of God in this time! God is in a Good Mood guys!!! Oh man I could go on and on with what God is doing but there's soooo much! It seems the favorite motto for all speakers and churches down here is "On Earth as it is in Heaven." It's now my favorite quote (from the Bible) as well!
So I know I'm being pretty sporadic with my thoughts at the moment but there's so much I need to tell and it seems like not enough space in this little blog. I got to pray over people tonight at a church service. You see, God has been really opening up the Prophetic in me (did you know that if you have a desire for the prophetic, just ask and God will open that up to you?!?). I'm able to speak encouragement into lives of my fellow students and pretty soon, into strangers and "pre-Christians."
So another thing I forgot to mention is the fact that God is definitely preparing Humboldt County for a massive invasion of Him! He's coming and He's bringing a humongous revival to this area that's going to spread like fire around the world. I can honestly say that I do feel revival coming (very strongly about it too). It's coming and God's waiting for the perfect moment to burst forth into the world from here. It's been spoken over all of us (the students) that we are going to be catalysts to this movement and we are going to be the revivalists!!! That's some pretty deep stuff because when we all first came here, we thought this was a mistake and that we were the "rejects" from Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (since most of us applied there first and were "suggested" to here.....that was totally God by the way). It's also been said that Redding, California can't have it's breakthrough until the breakthrough has happened here, on the coast! It's crazy to think that because Redding is pretty passionate and crazy for God right now and they are having some amazing testimonies coming from that place, but they can't have their complete breakthrough till we have ours! Wow! It's crazy how God really does "equip the called" and not the other way around!
So anyway, about tonight, we had a service speaking on healing and then some students got to go up front and pray over other people and anoint them with oils. I must admit that I was scared! I didn't prophecy over anyone and I don't think healing came through for me and the people I prayed over (unless if they are happening now) but it was still a stretching point for me. God has called me to be a leader and not a follower and that means I could be leading thousands or just one person. Either way, I'm still a leader and I'm starting to accept that now.
I think this is all I'm going to write for now. I hope to post some words I had spoken over me, up soon! I'll try my best to keep up with the happenings of Fortuna, California as much as I can! Until next time, may God bless you in all that you do! Because He loves you, ya know?
*Jess*
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