So I realized I haven't blogged since October 27th and I pray that you all could forgive me. A lot of things have happened since then. I think lately, God has been bringing up stuff from my past so that I can walk out in forgiveness towards people or release the hurt and pain from my past to God so that He can come in and bring true healing and freedom. I have been going through a weird past two weeks. I've noticed God has answered my prayer for discernment and I've become sensitive to atmospheres of public areas or to people who are hurting, I sometimes feel their pain. It's really weird but it's something I've been asking for so that I could love people and have compassion on them. I'm also excited to see what God has been up to. I'm so happy to say that I can hear God speak to me and it's amazing. I've also come to realize how funny God is and how He wants me to be joyful and happy always because it makes Him happy that I'm happy and then we're all happy! I love it!
Right now, I'm currently staying with my roommate in Etna, California for Thanksgiving break. I love it here so much because they have so many musical instruments, their house is amazingly large and awesome, and just the fact that it's a Christian family and that family shows love towards me is awesome! God has definitely been blessing me with musical skills. I remember sitting at a keyboard at Honor Academy just staring at it and crying. I would pray "God please teach me how to play piano since I can't find anyone to teach me." I would sit there and hit random keys but never played a song or anything. And then I get to BSSD and it seems God has opened a door to understanding the piano and there's so much musical talent around me and the beautiful thing is, everyone is willing to help me learn piano. I've learned many songs now and have made up a few of my own. It's not perfection, but I'm just so happy that I can play something now....even if it is only a little thing! I've also come to realize that God wants my dreams to come true. I have a dream to learn how to play piano, harp, violin, flute, guitar, and more and throughout my lifetime, God's going to provide ways for me to learn. Also, to learn other languages.
So over the time that I've been at BSSD, I've learned that God speaks to you in many ways. He will speak to you through nature, through other people, through art, through a small voice, through dreams, through visions, and much more. For me, God's been really showing me that my daydreams are actually from Him. I find myself daydreaming often about the future and what I will do and the strange thing is, someone will come up and prophecy over me and that word will confirm that daydream I had. It's like God wants my daydreams to be real just like I do! For instance, I was daydreaming one time that I was helping people on the streets (if you know me, I do not have the guts for outreach or for talking to people. I have a strong fear of man which God is breaking!!). In my little daydream, I pictured me performing a miracle or giving money to a homeless person or whatever and the next day, a speaker came to our school and he prophecied over a few of us (including me). What he said to me was that outreach is going to be the most exciting thing in the world to me and that the enemy has me really afraid of it and people right now. Isn't that awesome?!?! God tends to confirm a lot of my daydreams so I'm starting to think they are from Him (of course they are).
I'm also starting to get a general idea of what my future's going to look like and how exciting it's going to be (compared to how dreadful my future looked when I was in Honor Academy. I had a lot of fear there and in Colorado as well). I realize I still have a lot of fear but I trust that God is ripping them out and allowing me to excel beyond them! I wish you all could know how amazingly awesome God is. He DOES want us happy, HE DOES want us to be without fear, HE DOES want us to succeed and prosper in life. Most Christians tend to think that it's a sin to succeed or it's ok to be afraid, or God is angry at them always. NEWSFLASH: GOD IS IN A GOOD MOOD! Our God is a good God and if you ask Him to prove that statement to you, He will! And His love moves worlds and universes to reach you. Did you know that God's GOOD thoughts for you outnumber the sands on every seashore in this world? Think about it......God's thoughts concerning you outnumber all the sand in the world. That's so mindboggling!!! (That's from Psalm 139 by the way!). Think about this one: Zephaniah 3:17: "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." God takes great delight in you.....so much that it causes Him to sing over you! Have you ever loved someone so much that you just wanted to burst forth in song? Ok maybe not you but that's true for me! I love my God in the fact that He is all about RELATIONSHIP, not religion!
Ok so there I go on again preaching. But these and more have been new revelations to me about God's love for me. I hope you will realize that the love He has for me is the same love He has for you. No matter what your circumstances are, what you been through, the worst crime you've committed, God still loves you! He truly does!
So I hope that through this, God has given you a revelation of His love. If not, I'm praying for one for all the people that are reading this! It's life transforming! Thanks for reading this and I will try to post a new blog at least once a week! Until we meet again, God bless!
*Jess*
