I'm still alive here in California. There's so much that's been going on in my life and I'm not too sure on where to start. Let me just tell you what I've been realizing lately and how I've been affected by God's love.
First off, we had to read through a book recently called "Experiencing Father's Embrace" by Jack Frost. I highly recommend this book to anyone in their Christian walk. Even if you aren't a Christian, this book would be a good read for you. Did you know that most of us hold on to wounds that were caused back when we were children and we sometimes don't remember it? Wounds that maybe affected us subconsciously from what are parents did or did not do. I've realized that I view God the Father the way I view my biological dad. If my dad was lacking in some area, I believed a lie that says God will do the same. Now I'm not saying my dad was a horrible father, quite the contrary! My dad was always there for me and was protective of me and at times I was too rebellious to realize his love for me. I realize that I was also really affected by the way my parents lived there lives. For one, as a girl, I needed both parents there completely throughout my life and at times, just like most parents, they have failed to meet that standard. Now I love my parents very much, please don't get me wrong! But there were lingering wounds from the divorce and from other complications that have happened in my family. I never realized how much those wounds can affect my adult life. Hence why reading this book showed me that I can walk out in healing and forgiveness towards my parents. This book shows that however you relate to your parents is, in a sense, how you relate to God. If you are afraid of God because you think He's full of wrath and angry all the time, chances are you are believing a lie that was implanted into you because of the way your parents treated you. Anyway, I won't go further, I'll just suggest to go read the book yourself!
Did you know that we may have hidden lies that we believe that hinder our relationship with God? For me, that's huge! There have been so many lies that I believed that caused me to view God in a way that it was hard to connect to Him. But He has been so wonderful to reveal the lies and then reveal His truth in my life so I can be closer to Him!
I recently watched the newer version of "Annie" and realized I'm so much like Annie. Even though I actually am not an orphan, I definitely was spiritually and God adopted me. The end scene where Annie has been adopted and is dancing and singing with her new Daddy totally sounds like God to me. He's so in love with me and has adopted me into His family. My latest prayer has been to realize that I'm "Annie the adopted," no longer "Annie the orphan." Especially when it comes to finances, I want to trust God in His promise to be my Provider, in the same way a father provides everything for his daughter.
Speaking of finances, God totally provided a miracle. I can't get into too much detail for my dignity's sake, but I had in incident with my car that costed me a $527 fine. I was freaking out because I have no job and had no idea how I was going to pay for it when I received help from the most unexpected place! God is so good! Even if I mess up and was stupid with my driving, He comes through and helps me walk through my messes! Yay God!
Here's something I wrote down in class one day that has become my biggest revelation:
I'm realizing that God is my Daddy. He is pleased and proud of me and when I mess up, He is quick to run and comfort me and lift me back up. I realize that God's love for me is unconditional - meaning I don't have to DO but just BE. His love is reckless for me. I now know that God not only loves me but likes me. He is pleased when I'm free to be myself and when I'm comfortable in my own skin. It hurts Him when I compare myself to others because I force myself to fit into someone else's mold. It has taken me years to realize that true beauty is being myself - that I'm perfectly and wonderfully made - even if I have thunder thighs, bad hair days, acne, or whatever else. It is extremely important to realize that God has made us unique. There is no one like you in the world and no one could ever fit into the shoes that God created specifically for you to wear. I'm also realizing that everyone needs love. After being with God, being loved by Him, and knowing He accepts me, I long all the more for the world to know this love! I want to run to every broken and hurting person and tell them "You are loved and accepted." and then prove it with an action of love.
So for my final note, I want to let you all know about my mission trip to Ecuador in March. Our teams' primary focus will be training in the prophetic, arts, healing, ministering on the streets and in churches, hospitals, treasure hunting, shifting atmospheres, and releasing God's Kingdom. Worship and release God's heart over the nation, region, and specific church will also be a big part of what we do as a team. We will fly into the capital, Quito, and then travel to Loja (in the south) to minister. Here's a map for your viewing pleasure! :D
I'm so excited to be used by God in a huge way! If you'd like to partner with me on this, feel free to lift me and my team up in prayer. Also, if you'd like to support me and my team as we go to Ecuador, you can do so online at: https://www.ibssm.org/?action=donate&target=missions&student_id=213752 All donations are TAX-DEDUCTIBLE and you will receive a statement at the end of the year for your tax records. If you wish to donate anonymously, just check the anonymous box. This will allow you to receive an end of the year statement, but will not allow me to see your name! You can also send a check payable to Bethel Church and can be sent to:
Bethel International
915 Twin View Blvd.
Redding, CA 96003
Don't forget to include a note designating that it's for my mission trip!
Here's a need that I lift up to everyone for prayer or support: I have a deadline to pay $1,100 by January 17, 2012. I then have a final payment of $1,060 on February 21, 2012! Any little bit helps, even if it is only $5, $10, or $20 and is much appreciated! I thank you all in advance for partnering with me on this wonderful adventure and sowing into what God is doing in Ecuador! I pray you will be blessed immensely for what you have given me, even if it is only prayer! Prayer works I tell you! :D Oh and to clarify, Redding is a city with 200,000 people and about 11,000 of them are currently unemployed. Honestly, I've never had so much difficulty in getting a job but I know that God is faithful with my efforts. Please keep praying for a job to open up! I specifically told myself this whole year to not make any plans for Christmas just so that I could work. I do want a job badly and will put any money that I work for towards my trip as well. So thank you all for your continued prayers for a job! God is so good and I know He will come through!
If you have any questions about my mission trip, my life, what God's been doing, or even a prayer request, you can email, write, call, facebook, etc.! Please don't hesitate!
I love you all so much and I can't wait to tell you more of what God has been doing in my life! Don't forget to laugh today, it's good for you!
Many Blessings!
~Jess~
