Latest Thoughts and Revelations

Hello beautiful people!
I'm still alive here in California. There's so much that's been going on in my life and I'm not too sure on where to start. Let me just tell you what I've been realizing lately and how I've been affected by God's love.

First off, we had to read through a book recently called "Experiencing Father's Embrace" by Jack Frost. I highly recommend this book to anyone in their Christian walk. Even if you aren't a Christian, this book would be a good read for you. Did you know that most of us hold on to wounds that were caused back when we were children and we sometimes don't remember it? Wounds that maybe affected us subconsciously from what are parents did or did not do. I've realized that I view God the Father the way I view my biological dad. If my dad was lacking in some area, I believed a lie that says God will do the same. Now I'm not saying my dad was a horrible father, quite the contrary! My dad was always there for me and was protective of me and at times I was too rebellious to realize his love for me. I realize that I was also really affected by the way my parents lived there lives. For one, as a girl, I needed both parents there completely throughout my life and at times, just like most parents, they have failed to meet that standard. Now I love my parents very much, please don't get me wrong! But there were lingering wounds from the divorce and from other complications that have happened in my family. I never realized how much those wounds can affect my adult life. Hence why reading this book showed me that I can walk out in healing and forgiveness towards my parents. This book shows that however you relate to your parents is, in a sense, how you relate to God. If you are afraid of God because you think He's full of wrath and angry all the time, chances are you are believing a lie that was implanted into you because of the way your parents treated you. Anyway, I won't go further, I'll just suggest to go read the book yourself!

Did you know that we may have hidden lies that we believe that hinder our relationship with God? For me, that's huge! There have been so many lies that I believed that caused me to view God in a way that it was hard to connect to Him. But He has been so wonderful to reveal the lies and then reveal His truth in my life so I can be closer to Him!

I recently watched the newer version of "Annie" and realized I'm so much like Annie. Even though I actually am not an orphan, I definitely was spiritually and God adopted me. The end scene where Annie has been adopted and is dancing and singing with her new Daddy totally sounds like God to me. He's so in love with me and has adopted me into His family. My latest prayer has been to realize that I'm "Annie the adopted," no longer "Annie the orphan." Especially when it comes to finances, I want to trust God in His promise to be my Provider, in the same way a father provides everything for his daughter.

Speaking of finances, God totally provided a miracle. I can't get into too much detail for my dignity's sake, but I had in incident with my car that costed me a $527 fine. I was freaking out because I have no job and had no idea how I was going to pay for it when I received help from the most unexpected place! God is so good! Even if I mess up and was stupid with my driving, He comes through and helps me walk through my messes! Yay God!

Here's something I wrote down in class one day that has become my biggest revelation:
I'm realizing that God is my Daddy. He is pleased and proud of me and when I mess up, He is quick to run and comfort me and lift me back up. I realize that God's love for me is unconditional - meaning I don't have to DO but just BE. His love is reckless for me. I now know that God not only loves me but likes me. He is pleased when I'm free to be myself and when I'm comfortable in my own skin. It hurts Him when I compare myself to others because I force myself to fit into someone else's mold. It has taken me years to realize that true beauty is being myself - that I'm perfectly and wonderfully made - even if I have thunder thighs, bad hair days, acne, or whatever else. It is extremely important to realize that God has made us unique. There is no one like you in the world and no one could ever fit into the shoes that God created specifically for you to wear. I'm also realizing that everyone needs love. After being with God, being loved by Him, and knowing He accepts me, I long all the more for the world to know this love! I want to run to every broken and hurting person and tell them "You are loved and accepted." and then prove it with an action of love.

So for my final note, I want to let you all know about my mission trip to Ecuador in March. Our teams' primary focus will be training in the prophetic, arts, healing, ministering on the streets and in churches, hospitals, treasure hunting, shifting atmospheres, and releasing God's Kingdom. Worship and release God's heart over the nation, region, and specific church will also be a big part of what we do as a team. We will fly into the capital, Quito, and then travel to Loja (in the south) to minister. Here's a map for your viewing pleasure! :D

I'm so excited to be used by God in a huge way! If you'd like to partner with me on this, feel free to lift me and my team up in prayer. Also, if you'd like to support me and my team as we go to Ecuador, you can do so online at: https://www.ibssm.org/?action=donate&target=missions&student_id=213752 All donations are TAX-DEDUCTIBLE and you will receive a statement at the end of the year for your tax records. If you wish to donate anonymously, just check the anonymous box. This will allow you to receive an end of the year statement, but will not allow me to see your name! You can also send a check payable to Bethel Church and can be sent to:
Bethel International
915 Twin View Blvd.
Redding, CA 96003
Don't forget to include a note designating that it's for my mission trip!

Here's a need that I lift up to everyone for prayer or support: I have a deadline to pay $1,100 by January 17, 2012. I then have a final payment of $1,060 on February 21, 2012! Any little bit helps, even if it is only $5, $10, or $20 and is much appreciated! I thank you all in advance for partnering with me on this wonderful adventure and sowing into what God is doing in Ecuador! I pray you will be blessed immensely for what you have given me, even if it is only prayer! Prayer works I tell you! :D Oh and to clarify, Redding is a city with 200,000 people and about 11,000 of them are currently unemployed. Honestly, I've never had so much difficulty in getting a job but I know that God is faithful with my efforts. Please keep praying for a job to open up! I specifically told myself this whole year to not make any plans for Christmas just so that I could work. I do want a job badly and will put any money that I work for towards my trip as well. So thank you all for your continued prayers for a job! God is so good and I know He will come through!

If you have any questions about my mission trip, my life, what God's been doing, or even a prayer request, you can email, write, call, facebook, etc.! Please don't hesitate!

I love you all so much and I can't wait to tell you more of what God has been doing in my life! Don't forget to laugh today, it's good for you!

Many Blessings!
~Jess~

GLORY CLOUD?!?! SAY WHAT?!?!?

Hey world.
As the title says, something of epic proportions has been happening at Bethel lately. God has been releasing a ton of healings but not only that, He's starting to release signs in the church. I know this may sound crazy, but a few weeks ago we had the Open Heavens conference and this huge cloud of gold dust just appeared in the corner of the sanctuary. They have videos up all over youtube if you'd like to check it out. Here's one video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts0Kz43Ewlc

Anyway, people were covered in gold dust and so many that stepped into the cloud received their healing! A lot of gold teeth and gold fillings appeared in people's mouths! Crazy? Yes, but we serve a crazy God! So that cloud has been showing up at random times and each time I would miss it. But luckily, last Sunday night, I was at a service at Twin View Campus (another church that is connected to Bethel and usually is for the Bethel students) and they announced that the cloud was back at Bethel again and so everyone booked it over there to see. I got there and it was packed! I didn't see much but everyone was singing hymns in a capella and it was sooooo beautiful! Then, as some people went up to testify of the healings they just received, the cloud returned! It wasn't as intense as in the videos but to see it with my own eyes! Wow! It looked like a bunch of glitter was flying in the air by the lights. Later, we did a fire tunnel (a prayer tunnel basically) but it ended when the cloud increased! By then, most of the people went home because it was getting late but us BSSM students stood on chairs and reached up to it. At one point, it came down lower and it looked like it was snowing before my eyes! It was so beautiful! All we could do was worship God in that moment. I became such a child in that time because I found myself jumping up and down and screaming and laughing with excitement at what I was seeing! It was incredible!

So, after that long speech of the glory cloud, what else is going on? Well, I finally found out my mission trip! I didn't get to have any of my 5 choices unfortunately and had to re-choose 3. I got accepted to Loja, Ecuador from March 23, 2012 to April 3, 2012. Here's a short description of what this trip will look like:

"God has been preparing and positioning Ecuador for national revival… We are excited to be
partnering again this year with local Verbo churches in healing the sick, releasing God’s Glory,
training and equipping in the prophetic and the arts. We’ll minister in city parks and town squares.
Join us as we build on momentum from last year – these guys are amazing and ready for more. You
won’t want to miss it!"

I'm not too sure on what this trip looks like completely but I do know that the mission trips that go through Bethel are life transforming! I hear so many amazing testimonies of how God moves through the students to touch peoples' lives. I can't wait to see what God will do with my life and how impacted I will be by His love for the world. Also, this is the perfect opportunity to take what I've been learning here at this ministry school and actually take it out and do it! I will be (and am) living the Great Commission! No matter what this trip looks like, I know it will be amazing and totally worth it!

I do need to pay a deposit of $240 by November 13th and the total is $2,400. If you'd like to sow into this mission trip and partner with what God is doing in my life, you can do so at:
https://www.ibssm.org/?action=donate&target=missions&student_id=213752
Also, anything you do sow is TAX DEDUCTIBLE! Again, if you decide to support me in this, I cannot thank you enough! Every little bit counts!! Even if the only thing you can do is pray, then great! So again, thank you! You all are amazing!

Here are just a few pictures of what's been going on here lately!

 It was dress up night for my revival group! I was a 50's poodle skirt girl and my friend Kris was a 50's guy! We had fun!

                             My amazing revival group pastor, Marlene Aaronson, dressed as Madonna.

                                              This is Yukako. She's from Japan! She's amazing!

                                                                  Dance pose! Woot!

                                       Here's a pic of some of my revival group at the JH Retreat.

                            And my revival group again....we take up all the bleachers at school! :D

                                This is what worship from the back looks like at BSSM. Love it!

 Here's a shot of all of my revival group, minus one. One of ours is in the ICU so we wanted to encourage him. The signs say "We love you Johnny!"

                         This is what it looks like to pray for each other in my revival group! Amazing!

Sorry about the "squished" pictures....not too sure how to fix that.... Anyway, I'd best be off! Thanks again for reading this! I love you all very much and hope to hear from you all soon! Feel free to email, facebook, text, etc. me if you want to get in touch or if you have a prayer request, don't hesitate to let me know!

God Bless!
~Jess~

A Time of Cooling Down

Hey world!
First off, I'm so grateful for the weather change. Redding has been ridiculously hot and it feels so nice to have cool, cold, and wet weather. It came right on the first of October and has stayed since then! Answer to prayers? Yes!! Anyway, we are finally completely in the swing of things at school. We have a core group of people that we meet with once a week called a Revival Group and it's overseen by a Revival Group Pastor. This year, I was placed in Marlene Aaronson's group and couldn't be more grateful! In my group, we have about 70-75 people from first year (I don't know the exact number). It definitely is quite the endeavor to try and meet all of them and to get to know them all personally. But I feel like I'm definitely further than I ever thought because God miraculously made us a family right away. We all bonded as brothers and sisters so closely ever since we all gathered together the first time. It's so funny to think that this is exactly what I needed, a family of revivalists!

So we went on our school retreat which consisted of about 4-5 revival groups going up to JH Ranch in Etna for 2-3 days. It was amazing! It was beautiful, and cold, and the food was amazing! That was definitely a time when my revival group really started to connect with each other on a heart level.

Anyway, besides being so amazingly overwhelmed and overjoyed by the group I've been placed in, I'm so excited to see what God is going to do this year. In this school, they offer quarterly classes called AMT's (Advanced Ministry Training). Right now, I've chosen to be in Supernatural Evangelism because I felt like God wanted me to get out of my comfort zone, trust Him, and step out to truly love people. I still have a lot to learn but I'm definitely hopeful on this! Another thing to mention is that last night they opened up the applications to register for a mission trip! I'm so excited for this! All mission trips are in the end of March-beginning of April and go everywhere. We can only choose 5! I chose Japan, Thailand (Mae Sot), Thailand (Pattaya), New York City, and Los Angeles. I'll let you know when they tell me where I'm going! I'm not too sure on the financing part but I know God is Jehovah Jirah- the God who provides! Woot!

Speaking of finances, I'm still looking for a job. It's been really discouraging lately because every place that says they are hiring online, I'll go and talk to them and they'll say they just hired someone or they aren't hiring at all. Ugh. I've been consistent at going into places over and over to check on the application but I still have not received any calls for interviews. Not sure what this is going to look like, but unlike last year, I'm not giving up! I made a huge mistake last year in hardly putting in an effort for the job hunt so I'm really trying this time. The only big concern I have right now would be for my car and for gas! Redding is quite the big "town" and it does take a lot of gas to get to places......gas/money I don't have! And, my car is in need of desperate repairs so I can register in California. So, if you have nothing better to do but pray, feel free to pray favor into my car and this situation! :D Anyway, I'm not too worried because God is really teaching me to trust Him and to give my cares to Him because He cares for me. He really does come through every time, even though it does seem impossible! But until the miracle comes, I will continue to put an effort into doing what is best! Job hunting! Yay! Oh and pray that I get a job! ha ha!

Anyway, school continues to blow my mind! God is doing such an amazing work in me and my classmates this year! I continue to be grateful for all the amazing teaching we have been receiving and for the amazing teachers that pour into our lives! Kris Vallotton yesterday spoke on purity and even though I've heard this message and story about 4 times now, it never gets old. It has inspired us all into a new level of purity that we won't back down from. Besides that, the teachers move in the Holy Spirit and sometimes will just allow us to worship during class time or they release healing. So many people came broken and wounded and God has really been taking the time to touch the heart of the students. It's been so good!!!! It's like there's a whole new level of freedom that has just been released for my class! And it's only the 2nd month of school!!!! Wow!!

I guess that's all I can think of for now. I can't wait to see what God's going to do next! Feel free to contact me in anyway and let me know how you are doing or if you need prayer! I love you all very much and pray that you get rocked by God's love as well! :D

God Bless,
~Jess~

With a Hint of Destiny in the Air

Hey all.

Here's a quick update on my life:
On August 30th, I moved back down to the Redding area and am living at the house I lived at before. I find myself amazed at God and how He has provided for me in so many ways. I needed housing, He brought the perfect place, I needed my tuition paid for, He provided an amazing family who would help on that, I need a job, and even though it hasn't come through YET, I know He will provide that as well just like He always has. I'm currently immersed completely in the job hunt and have been trying everywhere I can think or look. I've applied to more places that I can count and have given over a dozen resumes out. Even though it doesn't seem like anything's coming through, I know God has the perfect job or provision for me. And in this time, I realize that God is teaching me more and more each day to trust Him. Being anxious and stressed about all of this will just kill me in the end. Needless to say, my car is in desperate need of repairs in order just to be registered in California. And don't even get me started on the most ridiculous thing I've ever done that is now costing me a huge ticket....and not in the good way. But God is faithful and He will come through, even in my mess ups and mistakes. Thank you God!

Anyway, besides all of that, I've started school at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry and already am in love with my class. It's bigger than last year and it sounds like we may move to the Redding Civic Center for classes!! We have a class size rumored to be around 1,000!!! It's so amazing and overwhelming at the same time but I'm so grateful I get to attend my dream school finally after contending for it for 3 years now! I know this year is going to be the most amazing year thus far in my life and it's going to transform me!

I'm also looking forward to a mission trip. Even though I don't have a job as of now, I do plan to go on a mission trip to who knows where. Mission trips happen in March at this school and we don't choose where we go until October it sounds like. Funny thing is, I know God will provide for that too! I've come to realize in my walk with Christ how blessed I truly am and how much favor and peace are on my life. I can only say that it's a divine peace that God has placed on me after all these past years of worrying and freaking out about every little thing. It's such a relief to know that God cares, God loves, and God comes through! Everytime, period!

So anyway, there's my rant on that! I'm so grateful to everyone reading this and to everyone who has poured into my life all these years! And for the people who continue to encourage me to pursue my dreams, thank you!! Well, I best get going for I have school today!! :D

Anyway, I hope you are all doing well and I'd love to hear from you! Whether good or bad, or maybe what God's doing in your life, or even if you have a prayer request, don't hesitate to contact me! I'm on facebook, skype, I have emails, and a phone number! LOL

I love you all and will let you in on more of what and how God's moving in me this year, k?

God Bless!
~Jess~

Taking a Giant Leap of Faith

Hello all!

I send you greetings from the hot state of California. It's July already. Can you believe it? Anyway, here's what's been going on lately. I didn't know this but California requires that you register your car here 20 days after you move here....whoops.....I kinda dropped the ball on that one. So I've been working feverishly to do just that and in order to register here you have to pass a smog test.....and go figure, my car doesn't pass. So I take it into the shop to see what needs to be fixed now and was shocked to see that it would cost an arm and a leg to fix these certain things. Lame!!! So I'm scratching my head and wondering what in the world to do now since I have such a limited budget until I get a job. Oy.

Well, besides that, I've begun the painstaking process of finding a job in Redding for when I move down there. Not so easy to check in on applications when you live two hours away. And then there's the priority of housing as well. LOL Sounds like I'm in quite the predicament but luckily there's still time so I will continue to go all out to search for these things.....any chance you could be praying for a miracle? That's always a relief.

Anyway, so enough about the bad news. I got to go strawberry picking for the first time a couple of weeks ago and then got to go cherry picking for the first time two nights ago! Hooray for firsts!

We had a painting day and I enjoyed it very much but I hate one thing, I'm such a perfectionist that when I try to paint the beautiful pictures that are in my head, I get so frustrated because it never comes out the way I want it to. Oh well, I guess there's always room for growth right? :D And as they say, practice makes perfect.

Honestly, I can't really think of anything else to update you on. I can tell you this, God is good all the time and He is my Provider. He loves you so much, it truly is a mind-blowing miracle of what Jesus did for us. I find myself being reminded of what Jesus did lately. He still continues to do a deep work on my heart and I'm so grateful that He hasn't given up on me yet. I'm not perfect by any means but I know that His love will cover me and will heal me and take me so much deeper. I want to be right smack in the center of His will for I know that it's the best place for me. I find rest in Him, I find true peace, I find true love. I'm hoping that any and all who are reading this could have a revelation of how much God loves you. Don't let your broken heart, anger, bitterness, and hatred keep you from the amazing destiny God has for you. Just put your trust in Him and I can assure you that everything's going to be ok. It may not be easy, but He won't abandon you either.

Anyway, there's my advice for the day. I love you all very much and miss you all tremendously! May God shower His love on you today and everyday!

God bless,
~Jess~

Learning to Wait

Hello all!

I hope I find you all well on this beautiful summer day. I can't believe it's already June! My goodness, this year has flown by.

Good news, I've been accepted to BSSM for this fall and my tuition is totally paid for! Praise God! I'm totally excited to see what God will do this fall. As of right now, nothing too new is happening. Just staying busy with helping this amazing family.

I tried out rafting for the first time the other day. It was my very first time attempting to get into a wetsuit which epically failed so I had to wear a bigger one that kinda choked my neck and caused me to gag for a while until I got used to it. I never knew I could feel claustrophobic in my skin while attempting to wear a wet suit. Weird. But hey rafting was fun. Besides being a little chilly when the sun disappeared behind the clouds and the wind picking up. It was only a Class 1 apparently and now I'm itching to try a higher class. It was good for a beginner like me to learn the ropes of paddling in a weird, big, tube-like raft. LOL I had fun though.

Another random note, I've picked up knitting since living here. It's funner than I thought! I've been making scarves like crazy (since that's the only thing I know how to make so far lol). If you want one, let me know! te he!

Lately, I've had this huge inspiration to do art. I've had so many ideas rolling around in my head. Now to just figure out how to get them on paper. I've picked up a love for anime since going to Colorado and have been attempting to draw anime-like people. I've been hanging around some amazing artists lately that have been inspiring me. And I've been painting lately. Which I've been longing to do so much recently. I do post my art on a website if you'd like to check it out:
http://tinkerbell594.deviantart.com/

Also, living at the Travis house gives me the chance to play a real piano. I'm so in love with the piano they have here that I never want to go back to a keyboard. I'm slowly but surely learning sheet music and how to play it. I'm also learning all my favorite theme songs! It's so exciting and I'm so grateful that God has placed amazing people in my life to help me achieve my dream of learning how to play piano. It's been fun.

Is it weird to say that I feel like God's going to grant some really big dreams of mine soon? I do, it's exciting. I can't wait to see what He's going to do next!

So yesterday, I spent the day going through all my cards and letters that I've saved up over the years and am totally amazed. I was such a different person back then....it's weird. At the same time, it's fun to relive my childhood memories. I think I can honestly say that I had a great childhood. Now however, it has me really missing a lot of people. Going through letters they sent me, really has me missing my family and friends so much. So guys, I miss you! All of you! :D

I realize lately that God has totally changed my heart for the idea of missions. I used to hate the thought of going and doing ministry because I was so afraid. Now however, I'm so excited to go. I want to go everywhere. And see all kinds of different people and cultures. I want to go to orphanages and love on children. I want to run to the brokenhearted and just hold them and say it's going to be ok. I want to see so many people's lives transformed by the love of Jesus. It's real, so real.

Anyway, this is just me. Ranting about my dreams and hopes for the future. Somehow, I feel like it will happen. And I can't wait! So now is just a time to sit and focus on Him and remain patient for the next step. I desire so strongly to meet my one and only and finally get married. I notice so many of my friends and family that are my age and even younger are married, engaged, or at least dating. And that's so amazing! I'm so happy for them! At the same time, it makes me so impatient. LOL Pray for patience for me, K? ha ha.

So there ya have it folks. A kinda random little update on my life. I love you all and miss you tons! And don't forget that God loves you tons too!

Love, peace, and chicken grease,
Jess

A New Area To Explore!

Hello world!
It's me again! I do exist still and haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. Instead of this being a blog, it's more of a time for me to recollect my thoughts and recall all the things that God has done in my life for the past few months....since I can't keep up with a weekly blog! LOL

So here's an update:
I'm no longer attending BSSM for this year. Some of you know that I did have to leave the school for a lack of finances which of course, was totally my fault. Honestly, I was going off of faith and I totally believed that God would provide it all like He promises. I was a fool though to sit back and wait for God to move when I should've put in some effort. Oh well. We learn from our mistakes, right? So this all went down in the end of October and it left me hurt and confused. I was really excited about the school and really looking forward to an amazing year there, but little did I know, God had other plans. :D

So, remember that family I mentioned in a previous post that took me to the Bahamas with them? Well, I got to go visit them a few more times throughout the month of November and was asked to go up for a couple of weeks (this is in Etna, by the way, which is two hours north of Redding and still in California) and work off my debt from the Bahama's trip. Of course, during the month of November, I really started to look for full-time jobs while I waited for next year and trying again at BSSM. So in the mean time, I did go up and help them. I became Serena's "personal assistant" so to speak and helped her with organizing and paperwork since they just moved to a new house and have an amazing ministry to run. It was so much fun at the same time! I loved being able to come up and stay at their house in a beautiful area and help them out as they fed me (yay for feeding a poor college student! Woot!) and brought me joy. They are such a fun family and I was really bummed to have to go back to Redding.

So when I had to go back, I kept praying to God and asking if there was some way to move up to Etna and work up there somehow.....and save up for BSSM and move back down to Redding in the fall. But I couldn't think of a way to make it work so I just focused on job searching and trying to remain content in this time. And here is where the real lesson is learned: God is always mentioning in the Bible to be content always with everything. So I surrendered the idea of Etna and just really focused on the positives of Redding, like Bethel Church! After a few days, I was ok with this fact that I would get a job, work like crazy, and still be able to attend Bethel. When all of a sudden, I get a phone call and Serena has a proposition for me. She wanted me to move up to Etna, live with them, and work for them all year and they would pay for my whole tuition for school next year.......talk about a tear jerker! I was so overwhelmed with what God was doing and so thrilled that this would work out AND I wouldn't have to worry about leaving school next year. So of course, I took that opportunity! And here I am. Living in their house up in Etna and helping them out with their ministry as they feed and shelter me. Oh and if you are interested in their ministry, here are a few websites:
www.serenatravis.com
www.draketravis.com
http://www.gmcnx.org/

The last website is for their ministry and explains what they do!

I'm still thanking God to this day on how He worked everything out! So my suggestion: If you aren't happy with where you are at, surrender it to God and try to think of the positives and He'll come through for you in ALL situations! He's so amazing like that and He will never let you down. Just look at my life and see where He brought me! And it's funny because I kept getting prophetic words saying "This is going to be the most amazing year for you." And I can see that now!

Also, I did get the opportunity to go home for Christmas thanks to another amazing blessing from God! It was sooooooo nice to go and see friends and family in my home state of Minnesota! And if I didn't see any of you that are reading this and are offended, I'm sorry. It really was a short time that I was home and I was kept busy with family mostly! But I'm still happy I got to go home!

So now it looks like I'm living in Etna until about August and then moving back down to Redding to, once again, attend BSSM (which I'm super excited for). So feel free to call, email, or text (while in Minnesota I got a new phone and can text now! Hallelujah!), or even snail mail (just ask for the address) me. I miss you all and love you all dearly! And never forget, you are very much loved by God, and by me.

Love Always,
Jess