Hello world.
Greetings from Eureka, California! That's right, HUMBOLDT COUNTY! I'm sitting outside at a house that's on a hill and at the bottom of the hill is the ocean. I can hear the distant rumble of the waves pounding on the shore. The clouds are covering the sky (I love cloudy days) and there's a cool mist with the smell of sea water in the air. This is definitely a break from the heat of Redding as I sit outside on this 60 degree day with a hot cup of tea, with my slippers and favorite hoodie on. I love this weather.
I made the decision to move back to Eureka, California suddenly a couple of weeks ago. I lived in Humboldt County before (when I attended BSSD back in 2009) and loved it and have been homesick for it the past couple of years.
So as I was furiously job hunting in Redding (and getting more and more frustrated by all the closed doors), my beautiful friend had the brilliant idea of calling and seeing if my old theater job (which I was also really missing) would take me back and if the wonderful people I stayed with before could potentially house me again. I was hesitant at first because I was so set on staying in Redding for the summer (and suffering through the heat) and because I was looking into doing 2nd Year this fall (which is still up in the air because of finances) that I didn't want to pack up all my stuff and move again (because everyone knows that moving is such a pain sometimes). But I called to check anyway and to my excitement, both the theater and the Kooy's were willing to take me back! I was so excited! It was also a breathe of fresh air realizing that I would have a job again, a wonderful house to live in, and be living in the place that is a home away from home for me.
Humboldt County always holds a dear place in my heart because of what happened here for me. I came to this county 3 years ago by faith. I drove for three days across country by myself (I never do that, to this day it's still the bravest thing I've ever done) to leave my dear family, friends, and state behind to arrive into unknown territory where I would know no one. It was a scary but very exciting time for me.
As I sit and reflect, I can honestly say that this place was where "my roots grew deep." This was the place that God faithfully and safely brought me to be nurtured, loved, and to reveal so many of His truths to me. My mindsets were completely transformed and my perspective on life had a dramatic shift because of all that I was learning in BSSD. For the first time in my life, I felt, sensed, and knew God's love for me.
As well as being an extremely revelatory place for me to encounter God's heart, I also fell in love with nature here. The ocean, ah my beautiful ocean, is here. The majestic Redwood trees are here. My amazing theater job is here. And to top it all off, all the amazing people that poured into my life when I first arrived, are still here! (And I was able to experience my first earthquake....that was a crazy day).
Even though I was heartbroken to leave all the new friends I've made in Redding behind, I was definitely looking forward to the change of scenery. I gotta admit, I almost cried as I drove away. It seems everywhere I go to live literally becomes another mini "home" for me because of the relationships I build and because of the scenery that I fall in love with. I now have "homes" in Minnesota; Estes Park, Colorado; Eureka/Fortuna, California; Etna, California; and now Redding, California.
I cannot even begin to tell you how faithful God has been in my life and how He has accomplished so many of my dreams (and surprised me by doing so). God is so faithful you guys, He really is. And He will prove His faithfulness to you if you give Him that chance.
In my past blog updates, you can see how God came through and surprised me by accomplishing my dreams. Here are a few: I got to go on a road trip to California (I've wanted to do that since I was 16). I experienced Nascar (a dream of mine since "Cars"). I got to walk down the "Strip" at Las Vegas. I got to go play around in New York City for a couple of weeks. I had the most amazing opportunity to go on a mission trip to the Bahamas. I got to ride a horse on the beach. I've had amazing people come in to my life to teach me how to play piano for free (always been my desire since I was a child). God provided me a very cheap car when I didn't realize how much I needed one. God opened the doors for me to get my dream jobs everywhere I've gone (besides Redding). God provided a way for me to attend my "dream school." The list goes on and on.
As hard as it was, the best decision I've ever made was leaving home (my original home: Minnesota). If I would have never left, I never would have met the people that I met, lived where I got to live, and experience the most amazing opportunities in life (you can't do many of those in a small town).
Anyway, there I go again reflecting on life. It's good to do that every now and then. Now as for the present, the plan is that I'll live here for the summer to work like crazy. As the fall draws near, I'll see where I'm at financially and then decide if I should stay and continue to work for the next year, or to move back to Redding to go to 2nd Year. We'll see. But I'll keep you posted.
I need to mention one other thing real quick. I read a quote somewhere recently that "you will never truly understand something until it actually happens to you." I can say that I've experienced a lot in life that gives me understanding into what others may be going through. I understand a break-up heartache, I understand stubbing your toe, I understand what it's like to live by faith, and I understand what it's like to experience a death of a loved one.
I have a dear friend here in Eureka who is younger than me but lost her mom to a brain tumor (or cancer) a month after my mom passed away. It is such a great feeling (even in the midst of death) to know that there is someone literally experiencing exactly what I'm going through right now. I know that we'll definitely be pulling on each other because we know what the other is going through. I'll be working with her again (I'm so excited she's still here) so it's going to be a wonderful healing process for both of us....as crazy as that sounds.
Of course I'm still grieving as well, that's a given. I still miss my mom tremendously everyday and sometimes I just have to break down (but Jesus is always here, holding me, I do know that). It's good to cry (and healthy too apparently) so there's no shame in crying every now and then (or often). All I know is that it's hard at times but I know I'll be ok in the end because God promises that "it'll all be ok." I also love how God calls me blessed in this time: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." -Matthew 5:4 I truly believe that He comforts me everyday in ways that I can't even fathom sometimes. What an amazing God I live for!
And on my final note, it's a gift to get to experience life with others. In your busy day today, take a moment to let your love out. Love on your family, love on your friends, connect with a distant heart that you haven't spoken to in a long time. Life is not life if we don't have relationships and if we are alone. If you are alone today, open up your heart and reach out to those around you. And if you have no one around you, reach out to God. He's always there for you. Jesus promises that He is with us always! Trust in His Presence, you can't go wrong with Him!
Anyway, sorry for a long blog. It just feels good to just open my heart and let it all out...even if no one reads this, it still feels good to share my thoughts.
So there's my exciting update on this moment in my life. Let me know how your moment in life is! I'd love to hear! :D
I'll be here, continuing to enjoy this gift of life that's been given to me!
Much Love,
~Jess~
